I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
