Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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