Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
