new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
