My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I'm both gender and math confused
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
