He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
