guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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