So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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