I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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