which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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