So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
