Do you still have your period?
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Randomize
