Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
