I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
