we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
