some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
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