He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
