wrigley field is MILF paradise
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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