i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
