nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
