READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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