I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize