After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
