Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
i think my cat just said my name.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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