if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
