Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
don't judge my taste in strippers
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Let's get the cat blown out
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
