So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Randomize
