I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
