a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
