Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
there is glitter all over my balls
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
