I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
