i think i have herpe
just one?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Randomize
