You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
