what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
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