i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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