covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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