i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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