My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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