If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
