it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Randomize
