Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
This is my gift to your gina
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Randomize
