But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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