Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize
