My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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