You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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