who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
