I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
i now understand why vodka
Dick very happy bro
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize