I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
You were trust falling into bushes
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
