shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
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