Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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