Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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