she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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