How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
