Slut skills are useful in every country.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
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