no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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