i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Randomize
