I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize