Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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