that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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