who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize