we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
You can't just leave with hair like that
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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