I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize