i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
