yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
